


You Let Me Fall Apart (Without Letting Go)

by tdogkarate



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Post-Season/Series 03, Sexual Content, Soft Villanelle - Freeform, Villanelle has issues, but Eve helps her with that, especially abandonment issues, post-3x08, she's really going through it, soft villaneve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tdogkarate/pseuds/tdogkarate
Summary: “Everyone in my life, everyone that has ever been important to me, everyone that I’d ever thought cared for me, has abandoned me or betrayed me. Tossed me aside like I was nothing. Konstantin, Dasha, Anna…” Villanelle hesitated, seeming unsure about continuing, and swallowed a growing lump in her throat. “Even my own mother, Eve.”/////Eve turns back on the bridge after realizing she can’t actually walk away from Villanelle. Neither of them expect the emotional aftermath that follows.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 12
Kudos: 113





	You Let Me Fall Apart (Without Letting Go)

**Author's Note:**

> What's that? Me writing something other than gratuitous smut? What a concept. Anyway, sorry if this seems a little ooc. I just really wanted to write some self-indulgent hurt/comfort content with vulnerable, emotional Villanelle because she hurts my heart in the most delightful ways.
> 
> Strongly Recommended Listening: Break In by Halestorm
> 
> Enjoy xoxo
> 
> P.S. As usual, a big shout out to my friend Ari for being my test reader and my #1 hype woman. Thank you for listening to me talk about this fic for the last week while I avoided working on it :')

Of course she was going to turn back around. She didn’t want to walk away in the first place. That was all Villanelle’s idea. But maybe Villanelle was no longer interested in Eve and that was why she’d suggested it. Eve couldn’t be sure of the other woman’s motives, only that she couldn’t fathom her walking away from this, from them, from whatever they have, for Eve’s sake. That was never how this went.

Eve still stopped, hesitating there on the bridge with her breath held and heart pounding away in her chest, before turning around, hoping Villanelle had turned back too.

Villanelle was standing there, back turned to Eve, but stopped nonetheless. After several moments had passed, she slowly turned and, upon seeing that Eve had turned back too, gave her a soft, almost vulnerable smile.

Both women let out a sigh of relief as they felt all the pieces fall into place.

Before she could process what was happening, Eve felt her legs carrying her towards Villanelle as the other woman made her way towards Eve. They stopped where they’d started, on the middle of the bridge. Neither of them spoke for some time, instead just staring at each other, a question hanging in the air.

“What now, Eve?”

Three words echoing a time when things were so different between them. A time when things were complicated but so much easier than whatever this was. Unlike then, Eve found herself at a loss, uncertain of what her answer was this time around. She stared imploringly at Villanelle, pleading with her to not put this decision on her, only to be met with a raised eyebrow and a shrug.

“I’ve made my intentions with you pretty clear. And I’d like to think that you have made yours with me pretty clear as well. But this is ultimately up to you now. You wanted me to make this stop and I tried and you didn’t want that, so now you have to tell me what you actually want from me.”

Eve knew she was right, but it didn’t make this any easier.

“I…I don’t really know. I haven’t exactly thought this through. All I know is…is I don’t think I want to live my life without you in it. I don’t know what that looks like or where we go from here. But for now, just for tonight, how about we just get a hotel room and go from there?”

Villanelle smiled at Eve. “That sounds perfect.”

The two of them wandered through the streets of London while Villanelle searched for a decent enough hotel on Eve’s phone, periodically making scathing remarks about the selections available. Eve kept stealing glances at the younger woman, taking in all her features and expressions while she was distracted with her search, and analyzing her in depth, just as she’d done during every encounter since they’d first met.

Something was off.

Eve couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but Villanelle just didn’t seem quite right to her. Something underneath the surface was stirring within the blonde, and Eve was reminded of earlier that night when she’d met Villanelle at the dance hall. Something hadn’t been quite right then either, but she’d been unable to get any answers out of the younger woman, receiving only distracted deflection in response to her question.

“Okay I found a place. About a 20-minute walk from here. Let’s go,” Villanelle stated before she grabbed Eve’s hand and gently tugged her along. Both women’s hands tingled at the contact, but neither of them acknowledged this.

Right on time, they arrived at the hotel where Villanelle booked a room for them. They headed up to their room in silence, both itching to re-join hands, but instead maintaining a sizeable distance between them. Neither of them looked at the other, the reality of their destination and the uncertainty of what was about to happen looming over them.

Once in the room, Villanelle made her way over to the plush loveseat in the living area of their suite, and Eve watched her from the door. She was picking up that same weird energy from Villanelle that she had all night. The younger woman had a distant gaze and her brows were furrowed. Something was definitely wrong.

Eve removed her coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door, followed by her shoes which she placed against the wall. She then went over to the loveseat and sat down next to Villanelle, placing a comforting hand on her thigh and looking at the blonde as her gaze went to the hand then up to Eve’s face. “What’s wrong?”

Villanelle let out a heavy sigh and quietly replied, “No one’s ever chosen me before.”

Eve looked a bit taken aback, not having expected her to actually answer so easily. “Oh… Would you…do you mind elaborating on that?”

“Everyone in my life, everyone that has ever been important to me, everyone that I’d ever thought cared for me, has abandoned me or betrayed me. Tossed me aside like I was nothing. Konstantin, Dasha, Anna…” Villanelle hesitated, seeming unsure about continuing, and swallowed a growing lump in her throat. “Even my own mother, Eve.”

Eve stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt her. She gently squeezed Villanelle’s thigh, urging her to continue.

“I… Okay I know why Anna rejected me. I didn’t understand it then, but I understand now. Even though she was never truly mine to begin with, but that’s a whole other matter. And Konstantin, Dasha…I get them too. It’s never personal with them. They’re self-serving and deceptive and manipulating, but it’s never personal. They’re just looking out for themselves. And I understand that because I am the same way. But…” She let out a shaky sigh. “But my mother, I will never understand that.”

The hand resting on Villanelle’s thigh moved and grabbed her hand, a comforting gesture.

“What happened?”

“I went to visit my family, in Russia. What’s left of them, anyway. I didn’t even know that any of them were still alive until Konstantin told me and located them for me. When I was a child, I was told they had died. So I went to find them and found my mother and my brother and all of their new family. And things were going fine at first. I thought, maybe my mother had changed, maybe she wasn’t the horrible person I remembered from my childhood. Until one night she found me alone and told me to leave, that I wasn’t welcome there, that they weren’t my family.”

Villanelle swallowed thickly again, eyes shining with unshed tears, before continuing.

“My own mother basically told me what a horrible person I am and always have been. That I ruined her life. Accused me of manipulating my father with...with whatever _evil_ or whatever she said was inside of me. That’s why she abandoned me at some orphanage and never came back. She says it was because they told her I had died, but I call bullshit. She never planned on coming back for me.”

A single tear finally slipped down her cheek, which she promptly wiped away.

“And then _Hélène…fucking Hélène—_ ”

“Your new boss?”

“Ex-boss, yes. I met with her after my trip to Russia. She called me an ‘agent of chaos.’ A ‘beautiful monster.’ And I feel like that’s all I’ve ever been and all I’ll ever be. A monster.” Villanelle gave a short, humorless laugh. “Hell, I even killed my mother. That’s pretty fucked up, huh?”

Villanelle glanced over at Eve, assessing the other woman’s reaction to her confession. Her face was unchanged, no sign of judgement or fear or disgust. Just acceptance and mild curiosity.

“I suppose, yes,” Eve replied, calmly. “Is this why you asked me those things you did on the bridge?”

“Yes.” She paused. “Listen Eve, I know I’m a terrible person. Perhaps I don’t regret all that I’ve done or feel bad for all those I’ve hurt, but that doesn’t mean I like who I am. Because if I’m going to be honest with you, my life kind of sucks because of it. I’ve done nothing but fuck up my own life and cause myself problems, and I really have no one to blame but myself.” Villanelle met Eve’s gaze, eyes shimmering and vulnerable. “And I’ve hurt you, Eve.”

Eve cupped Villanelle’s cheek. Another tear fell from the blonde’s eyes, and this time Eve wiped it away with the pad of her thumb.

“Villanelle, it’s okay—”

“No it’s not! You’re the only person in my life who’s interested in me for me, who sees past what I am, who sees who I really am. You’re the only person I have left. And all I’ve done is make your life miserable.” The younger woman moved away from Eve’s hand, her skin burning from the contact, and averted her gaze to the floor. “I don’t understand why you didn’t just walk away when you had the chance,” she finished quietly before going silent.

The silence hung heavy in the room as Villanelle waited for a response, unsure if she was ready to hear what Eve had to say.

Eve studied the younger woman before her. She seemed so…lost. This was nothing like the fake tears and emotional confessions Villanelle had given her in her kitchen what seemed like lifetimes ago. This was real. Deadly, ruthless, highly skilled international assassin Villanelle was having an identity crisis right in front of Eve. The older woman had never seen anything like this from her before, and she knew that she needed to choose her next words carefully, not wanting to accidentally hurt the other woman further or cause her to shut herself off. Frown lines deeply etched into Eve’s face as she planned what she would say.

“Villanelle.” When the blonde didn’t acknowledge her, Eve placed her hand back on her face and gently turned her head towards her, forcing Villanelle to look at her. “Villanelle, I meant everything I said earlier. You are so many things. Much more than just your bad qualities or your past. I won’t pretend that you’re a good person, but I also won’t pretend that I am either. And maybe I’m not quite on the same level as you, but I’m by no means a perfect person.”

Hazel eyes continued staring back at Eve as she paused the collect her thoughts again, but the other woman did not speak. Hell, Eve couldn’t be sure she was even breathing. It was the quietest she’d ever seen Villanelle, the younger woman waiting patiently for Eve to finish.

“You asked me why I didn’t walk away earlier, so here it is. I want this. I want you. _All_ of you. Because I also meant what I said about you being all I see when I picture my future. I know who you are. I know what you are. I know what you’ve done. I know what you’re capable of. And yet, despite all of that, or sometimes even _because_ of that, I want to be with you. And maybe that means there’s something deeply wrong with me, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I do care about you and I want you in my life, no matter what may come.”

Villanelle hesitated for a moment before simply asking, “Why?”

A small smile crossed Eve’s lips. “Because, you idiot, you are both the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me, and, despite all better judgement, I love you.”

Villanelle’s eyes widened at her confession as another traitorous tear escaped. She let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “Really?”

“I know, surprised me too.”

The younger woman smiled at that. Her eyes slipped shut and she pressed her face into Eve’s palm, finally allowing herself to enjoy the contact. She breathed a sigh of relief, comforted by the other woman’s words. In all her years of life, Villanelle had never felt as unconditionally accepted as she did in this moment. The empty nothingness she usually felt suddenly didn’t feel so empty anymore. Because of Eve. Because of the woman she loved, in whatever way she was capable of, and who, apparently, loved her back.

Villanelle opened her eyes again to look at the brunette to find that she was still looking at her, head tilted and looking at her cautiously, obviously still uncertain how exactly to interact with this version of her. The blonde grabbed Eve’s hand from her face and held it between both of hers, absentmindedly stroking it with her thumb.

“Take me to bed, Eve,” she finally said, barely above a whisper.

Eve looked a bit taken aback by this request. “Are you sure? You’re not exactly… You’re obviously in a...fragile state right now. I would hate to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. Especially for our first time together.” She ran a hand through her hair nervously as she rambled on. Honestly she wasn’t sure if she was protesting for the reasons she was saying or if she was just putting this off, anxious about the idea of being with Villanelle… _like that_. Probably a mix of both.

Villanelle grabbed the hand trying to bury itself in Eve’s locks, stilling it and pulling it down so both of her hands were gently grasped in Villanelle’s. She looked Eve in the eyes, trying to convey as much sincerity as she could manage, and gave her a small smile. “Yes, of course I am sure. I’ve never been more sure of anything. Now please, Eve, take me to bed. I think we have both waited for this long enough.”

Several moments passed as Eve assessed the situation. The last thing she wanted was to jump into this when either of them weren’t ready. And she knew that Villanelle wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of self-control or thinking things through. Then finally—

“Okay,” she breathed.

Eve saw the tension leave the younger woman’s body at her reply. She stood from the loveseat, her hands still clasped in Villanelle’s, and gently tugged, urging the other woman to stand as well. Once she’d complied, Eve placed her hands on both sides of Villanelle’s face and pulled her down for a tender kiss, trying to convey everything she felt with the action.

When their lips parted, Eve pressed her forehead against Villanelle’s. “I’m going to undress you now, okay?”

Villanelle smiled, both touched and amused at the concern with which Eve was treating the situation. “Okay. But just know that I won’t always let you be in control of everything.”

Eve chuckled and shook her head before placing a kiss on the blonde’s cheek. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. But just for tonight, I want to take care of you. I want you to know that you are safe and accepted…and loved.”

The last part was probably going to take some getting used to for Eve. She’d only just started to accept her feelings for the other woman, let alone said them aloud. Villanelle didn’t seem to mind though, simply nodding, acknowledging her words and encouraging her to continue what they’d started.

Eve grabbed Villanelle’s coat and pulled it over her head with her help. After draping it over the loveseat, she looked back at Villanelle and really took in the sight before her, the younger woman now only wearing a simple black shirt with her leggings and boots. She suddenly looked so small. With the grandiosity she usually carried herself with, Eve easily forgot that, underneath it all, Villanelle was just a young woman and not some untouchable figure.

Eve kneeled before Villanelle and removed her boots. After a moment’s hesitation, she placed a soft kiss on her leg, followed by several more, working her way up. She could sense Villanelle’s breathing becoming shallower with each kiss. Finally she stood back up and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “You are precious,” she breathed.

Villanelle looked like she was about to protest at that before Eve gently placed a finger against her lips, silencing her. “Just listen to me.” Villanelle sighed but didn’t try to fight her, so Eve removed her finger. “Thank you.”

Eve pressed a kiss against her cheek. “You are irreplaceable.” Another kiss on her neck. “You are wanted.” Above her collarbone. “You are loved.” Eve felt Villanelle swallow and pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were shimmering again but her gaze was hard, face steeled into an unreadable expression.

Eve placed a hand over her heart, feeling the fast but steady rhythm underneath. Her other hand pressed against her cheek. “You are _worthy_ of love.” Villanelle choked back a sob, a tear escaping her only to be kissed away by Eve. “And I am never going to leave you.”

Villanelle tried to hold back her tears but couldn’t stop them as they began to fall. She suddenly backed away from Eve, shaking her head. “You…you can’t promise that, Eve. Not if you don’t mean it. I can’t…not again…”

Eve stepped forward and wrapped Villanelle tightly in her arms as broken sobs wracked her body. Eve felt the fabric of her shirt becoming wet as Villanelle pressed her face into the crook of her neck, and she rubbed the younger woman’s back soothingly. “I mean it, Villanelle. I’m not going anywhere. Because, fucked up as this might be, we’re made for each other, and I refuse to let you go again.” She pressed a kiss against her hair, feeling the other woman begin to calm down at her words. “Like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

Villanelle let out a bark of laughter then and drew in a shaky breath. “As if that could ever be a bad thing.”

“Oh believe me, it can be. I can be _insufferable_.” Villanelle actually chuckled at this. “But it’s too late now, sorry.”

Slender arms finally snaked around Eve, returning her embrace, and she felt a kiss against her neck.

“I’m okay with that.”

“Good. Now, are you okay to continue, or do you want to stop?”

“I would like to continue, please.”

Eve nodded. She pressed another kiss into her hair before reaching up and letting it out of its bun, blonde locks falling in gentle waves. Then she grabbed the bottom of Villanelle’s shirt and tugged it off, the other woman letting go of her so she could do so. Eve was about to remove Villanelle’s bra when she was stopped.

“This is starting to feel a little one-sided,” Villanelle remarked, gesturing to Eve’s fully clothed form. “May I?”

The request was obvious, and Eve smiled at her and nodded. “Of course.”

Villanelle made quick work of taking off Eve’s turtleneck, finding that that was no easy task with the brunette’s voluminous curls as she momentarily got stuck. Both women burst into laughter at this, some of the heavy tension from earlier subsiding. Then Villanelle leaned in and began slowly kissing down Eve’s neck, a soft moan escaping the other woman as she did, causing a different kind of tension to build around them.

Eve removed Villanelle’s bra while the blonde continued placing slow, open-mouthed kisses on her exposed skin. Her eyes couldn’t help but slip shut as she enjoyed the almost reverent contact, her hands coming to rest on Villanelle’s waist. “That feels so good, baby.”

The younger woman briefly paused at the term of endearment. Of course, they’d both used the term for each other before, but that was different. Different time. Different context. Different tone. And never said aloud. She’d never thought she would ever actually hear it from the other woman. Once over her initial shock, she pulled back and kissed Eve, cupping her face in her hands.

The kiss slowly deepened, their lips parting to give way to tongues. Eve brought her hands up to palm Villanelle’s breasts, eliciting a moan from the younger woman. Villanelle’s own hands moved to remove Eve’s bra. Meanwhile, the kiss built into something desperate, needy. Both women were lightheaded from the lack of air, but neither were willing to break the contact, hoping instead to be overtaken by the feeling, to consume and be consumed by each other.

When they finally broke the kiss, both women panting heavily and lips brushing against each other, Eve was the first to speak. “I want to make you feel good.”

Villanelle licked her lips as she looked down at Eve. “I would very much like that.”

Eve grabbed Villanelle’s hand and led her to the bed. “I want you to lay down for me, okay?” Villanelle nodded and complied, climbing onto the bed and doing as she was told. Eve followed suit, ending up on top of the blonde and straddling her hips.

Villanelle looked up at Eve in awe, finally getting a good look at her topless, and softly gasped. “Eve, you are so beautiful. I mean, I already knew that, but wow.”

The older woman blushed lightly at the compliment, running a hand through her hair nervously. “Thank you. And I’m sure you already know this too, but you’re absolutely stunning.”

Villanelle smiled at that. “I do, but it means a lot more coming from you.”

Eve felt her heart flutter at the words, and before she knew it she was bending down to place another kiss on her lover’s lips, this one briefer than the last but no less heated. Next, her lips moved to Villanelle’s neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the expanse of skin there, the other woman tilting her head to give her better access. Soon she found herself moving down Villanelle’s body, placing more kisses on heated skin as she went.

Eve stopped her descent when she reached Villanelle’s breasts, taking one nipple into her mouth and worshiping it with her tongue while gently massaging the other breast. Villanelle moaned softly at the contact, arching into Eve’s touch and rolling her hips when her lover’s mouth moved to her other nipple.

After taking her time lavishing Villanelle’s breasts with the attention they deserved, Eve continued her descent, leaving more kisses on the blonde’s taut stomach as she went, taking a moment to kiss the scar she had left in silent apology. A promise to address that later. She stopped when she’d reached her destination and wasted no time in removing Villanelle’s leggings and underwear. She then took the opportunity to rid herself of the rest of her own clothes, leaving them both naked and nothing left to hide.

Villanelle watched Eve with hungry eyes as she crawled back up the bed and laid on her side next to the blonde. She placed a hand on Villanelle’s chest and met her gaze, hesitating nervously as she prepared to say the one thing on her mind.

Before she had the chance, Villanelle shifted onto her side to face Eve and ran a hand comfortingly down her arm. “What is it?”

“I… It’s just… Um…” Eve waved her hand sort of vaguely, unable to will the words to come.

Villanelle raised her eyebrows in understanding. “You’ve never been with a woman before, have you?” Eve shook her head. “It’s okay, I figured as much. Just know that there’s no judgement from me, and we’ve got plenty of time to practice. Right now, I just care about being here, with you, like this, even if it’s not perfect, because this is already perfect to me.”

Eve pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Thank you. That was…surprisingly sweet.”

“I am full of surprises, Eve. Now please, I’m begging you, _please_ just touch me.”

Emboldened by her lover’s words, Eve was more than happy to comply with the request, nerves be damned. The hand on Villanelle’s chest slid down her body, and the younger woman parted her legs for her as she reached her center. Eve began to touch her experimentally, exploring every part of her to get her bearings. Once she was feeling a bit more confident, she started to rub firm, slow circles on the small bundle of nerves there, taking note of the slight hitch in Villanelle’s breathing.

“Yes, just like that,” Villanelle breathed.

Her eyes slipped shut as Eve began kissing her neck. She brought a hand up to gently massage Eve’s breast, and her lover sighed softly at the contact. The hand between Villanelle’s thighs began to move faster, eliciting a soft moan from the blonde.

Eve placed a kiss by Villanelle’s ear and began whispering more words of affirmation to her, just as she’d done earlier, reminding her of just how wanted and safe and accepted and loved she was. Villanelle whimpered at her words and clutched Eve’s arm tightly.

“I told myself earlier I wasn’t going to cry again, and you’re not exactly helping with that.” Between her overwhelming emotions and the pleasure building in her center, she couldn’t help the slight tremor in her voice.

“That’s okay, baby, you can let go. You’re safe with me.” Eve kissed her cheek and continued whispering her reassurances to her lover, who swallowed thickly at her words.

“Eve…” She drew in a shaky breath. “Eve, please kiss me.”

When their lips met, a tear escaped Villanelle, followed by another, and another, and yet another as they kissed, completely overwhelmed by everything going on inside of her. She buried her hand in Eve’s curls as she broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together, trying to convey everything she was feeling to the other woman.

They stayed like that as Eve worked Villanelle higher and higher, listening to her lover’s breaths become more and more ragged as she brought her closer to her climax. The soft moans and whimpers she elicited from the blonde were like music to her ears. As Villanelle’s hips started to move erratically to press into her hand, Eve knew that she was close.

Suddenly, Villanelle’s body went rigid and the hand in Eve’s hair gripped tightly, trying to ground her. Eve waited until she felt her lover relax again and start taking in fast, panting breaths before she removed her hand from between her legs and placed in on her cheek.

When Villanelle finally opened her eyes, Eve smiled almost shyly at her. “Sorry to risk ruining the moment, but was that okay?”

Villanelle stared at her for a moment before quietly laughing. Eve started to look a bit offended, so she smiled softly and responded, “Yes, baby, that was wonderful.” Eve let out a sigh of relief. “But I swear, if you don’t stop making me cry—”

“Listen, the first time wasn’t my fault.”

“Irrelevant. I have a reputation to uphold, and this night is really putting that in jeopardy.”

Eve swatted at her shoulder playfully. “You obviously needed this though. Besides, I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

Villanelle gave her a serious look. “You better not, or I’ll have to kill you,” she threatened.

A couple of beats passed before both women started laughing at the empty threat.

“God, we really are fucked up, aren’t we?” Eve asked as she absentmindedly stroked Villanelle’s arm.

“Yes. But that’s why this works so well.”

“Good point.”

“Now can I please go down on you? I’ve been dying to know what you taste like, and I’m sure my fantasies haven’t done you justice.”

Eve raised her eyebrows in mild surprise at the sudden change of subject. “Oh uh, yeah, be my guest.”

“Wrong choice of words, Eve. Now I might have to burst out in song,” Villanelle sighed in fake exasperation, shaking her head.

“Wait, you know Disney?”

She shrugged. “Of course. I watch a lot of movies.”

“Sorry, I guess I just…wouldn’t have thought that would be your thing.”

“I told you, Eve, I’m full of surprises. Now, as I was saying…”

As she trailed off, Villanelle sat up and gently pushed Eve onto her back. She spread her lover’s legs and moved to kneel between them. Looking down at Eve, she saw that the older woman’s eyes had gone wide, looking a bit like a deer caught in the headlights, and a grin lit up her face.

“Luckily for you, I am _very_ experienced in this department, so you’re in good hands.”

Villanelle leaned down and kissed Eve deeply, savoring the feeling of her lover’s lips on hers and the soft moans she made as her tongue slipped past them. She felt Eve wrap her arms around her neck, keeping her in place, and her hips moving to try and gain friction against her body.

When they parted, Villanelle kissed down Eve’s neck to her chest, stopping to worship her breasts with her mouth and tongue. She swore she could never get enough of Eve’s body or the soft sounds she made at her touches. As she continued working her way down, she left open-mouthed kisses in her wake, stopping at the apex of her thighs. Villanelle looked up to see Eve staring at her, pupils blown with lust, her breathing shallow.

Villanelle dipped down and took a tentative taste of her lover and was rewarded with the sound of a sharp intake. She continued to explore and experiment, discovering what Eve liked, and soon she felt fingers threading in her hair and pulling her close. Once she’d gotten a feel for things, she went to work pleasing the older woman in a way she’d done so many times with so many other women. But none of those women were Eve. None were as special as the woman before her, so Villanelle treated this as if it were her sworn duty to make Eve feel just how important she was.

It was obviously working, if the sounds coming from above her were anything to go by. The thought filled Villanelle with great pride and only served to increase her efforts.

“Villanelle…” Eve moaned softly as her hips writhed against the blonde’s mouth. She took a hand from Villanelle’s hair and blindly sought out one of her hands until the other woman got the hint and linked her fingers with Eve’s.

Villanelle kept them connected like that while her other hand joined her mouth, both working in tandem to bring Eve towards her orgasm. Judging by the increased frequency of her moans and the erratic movements of her body, Villanelle knew that wouldn’t be long.

She was right, of course. Soon, Eve came hard as she cried out Villanelle’s name while the woman in question coaxed her through with expert finesse, leaving Eve stunned and panting in its wake.

Villanelle crawled back up to lay next to her lover, latching onto her and tangling their legs as she buried her face in Eve’s neck. “Thank you. That really was better than I’d imagined.”

“Okay good because…wow. Just…wow.”

The younger woman couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “That good, huh?”

“I mean…yeah, kind of.”

“Well, like I said, _lots_ of practice.”

“I don’t really want to think about that or else I’m going to start getting jealous of a bunch of random women I don’t know and never will.”

“Mmm…” Villanelle placed a kiss on her neck. “I think I like jealous Eve, though.”

Eve turned over to face Villanelle and wrapped her in her arms, laying her cheek on the top of her lovers head. “Yeah well, I just don’t like to share.”

“Neither do I.”

“Good.”

Both women laid there in silence for a long while, simply enjoying each other in their post-coital bliss, when finally, Villanelle spoke again.

“I…really am sorry, Eve. For everything I put you through.” The words were so soft, so timid, almost as if she was afraid of breaking the bubble they’d built around themselves in this room. “I’m sorry about your friend. The one in Berlin. I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you. And I’m sure it’s not easy to reconcile that with…this.”

Villanelle waited with bated breath for Eve’s response. She knew she was crossing into dangerous territory.

Eve stopped breathing for several moments. It had been a while since she had thought about Bill, so to have him brought up here, now, by the very person who had killed him? She needed a minute to process. Finally, she sighed heavily.

“Honestly, that was an unbelievably terrible thing that happened to me. And I don’t know if I can ever completely forgive you for that, but it’s something that I—we can work through.” She felt Villanelle relax a bit in her arms.

“Fair enough. I am…also sorry about what happened in Rome. I’m sorry that I shot you. I wished many times afterwards that I had not done that, but it was too late. I couldn’t take back what I did.”

Eve took another minute to mull this over as well. She placed a kiss on the blonde’s head and replied, “I won’t pretend that that was easy for me either, but I have made my peace with it.”

“Okay…good, then. Also…” Villanelle trailed off, uncertain if she wanted to say the next thing on her mind. “I do love you, Eve. You said I don’t know what love is, and maybe I don’t. At least not in the way most people do. But in whatever way that I am capable, I love you.”

Moving so she could look at Villanelle, Eve looked her in the eyes, placed a hand on her cheek, and smiled gently. “I know, dear. I think I’ve known that this whole time. I was just in denial about everything back then, so I’m sorry if I made you doubt your feelings.”

Villanelle shrugged a shoulder. “I kind of deserved it, just a little bit.”

“Maybe so, but regardless, I am still sorry.”

“That’s okay, I forgive you for being oh so terrible to me.” A bit of a smug grin crossed Villanelle’s lips at her tease, causing Eve to roll her eyes.

“Oh shut up.”

And by kissing Eve softly, Villanelle did just that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! :)
> 
> You can also find me over on [tumblr](https://tdogkarate.tumblr.com)!


End file.
